Rearranging and disappearing.
2 June 2012
I don’t really know how to say this or where to start, or what I really wanna say either for that matter. 3 days ago I had everything mapped out. I knew where to go, what I wanted and how to get there. I thought I stood on solid ground. I was stupid enough to think for a second that this is the pay off for all the hard work and all the struggle. So I softened for a second. Forgot to watch my back. Lost my guard, and as if they’ve been waiting to attack, the ground beneath my feet was taken away in a second. It started slowly and ended up stealing everything I had.
Before I took the plane to London for the Bedford show last week, I wrote a long letter to myself that I was gonna read after the tour. I asked for challenges. For mountains to climb and for lessons, because that is when you learn. I asked for nothing but two months of learning. I wanted to come back, with new knowledge of what all this means. Turns out, I didn’t need 2 months. It took me 2 days to be forced to revalue, rearrange and doubt everything I trusted. I have no idea where all this will take me, but I know it will teach me things that I won’t be able to learn any other way. Most of all, I’m learning independence again. I softened for a while, I made the mistake of trusting other people with my heart, my future and most of all my confidence. No more broken walls. No more letting in. If you don’t give people pieces of yourself, they can’t take it away from you. From now on I will take it in my own hands, take control of my own destiny.
I am gonna shine, and I will find my way.
I have oceans left to sail and other worlds to see.
Thank you all for being such an amazing support through all this. It’s during the storms that you learn who your real friends are, and I can not desbribe how much you’ve helped me by just being there. I love you.
“ Live the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap into it and play it to the hilt. ”
Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune
With so many people
To love in my life
Why do I worry
About one
They say time will
Make all this go away
But it’s time that has taken my tomorrows
And turned them into yesterdays
“ I am nothing.
I’ll never be anything.
I couldn’t want to be something.
Apart from that, I have in me all the dreams in the world. ”
Fernando Pessoa
Being lost is not a waste of time. It makes you rediscover what you really want and why you want it. Makes me rediscover why I turned to music in the first place. This was the first song I ever learned on guitar and Secondhand Serenade is still one of my favorite songwriters. Hope you like it creatures :)
“ Personally, I don’t like inherently happy people. I don’t trust them. I think there’s something seriously wrong with anyone who isn’t at least a little let down by the world. ”
Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star
“ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. ”
Khalil Gibran
(Source: thelivingelectronicword, via gravity-rainbow)
“ I am sick of prettiness; I am sick of privacy. I ride rough waters and shall sink with no one to save me. ”
Virginia Woolf, The Waves
I’m holding on to my life best I can.
(Source: angelasmassacre)
“ I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist, to build a small, self-sufficient world in the back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home. ”
Looking for Alaska
About me
New album "This Is How Ghosts Are Made" out on all online-stores now!
the Glass Child - Charlotte Eriksson by the Glass Child
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I'm an organized mess. I can't sleep at night. I believe in magic and ghosts. I make mistakes and I mess up a lot. I'm having some trouble accepting myself and I'm afraid of not being good enough. I believe in the future, for I have seen yesterday, and I'm still alive . I laugh a lot, and I'm easily amused, but also easily bored, mostly with myself. I have trust issues and I remember every single word from conversations. I moved and left everything I had built for 19 years. I spent a year in solitude, with my mind and my music, writing down the story of my life. I learned how to build my home in my music. When I sing, I'm not scared anymore. I want this to mean something. I believe in writing your own story, and that's what I'm doing here. I stopped making sense a long time ago. I'm mostly insecure, but when I really want something I can find a way to get it. I turn everything into a battle because I love the sound of winning. This is my way of saying, I did not come here to lose. You tell me no, and I’ll say “watch me”.
I'm a glass child. I'm still creepy little me.
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" One and a half year ago I moved to London to prove to myself that I can live my life on my own terms. Since then I've started my own record label "Broken Glass Records", produced, recorded and released 2 EPs, play allover London and New York, was names ”Breakthrough Indie Artist Of The Year” by Lemonade Magazine and has been played by Tom Robinson on BBC Introducing. Last year I released a charity-single for the swedish cancer-organization Ung Cancer, to support young victims of the disease, that reached #2 on the swedish Itunes-chart. RIght now I'm doing my first UK-tour, and this is all thanks to your support! I believe in writing your own story, and that's what I'm doing here. I want to prove to people that you can become whoever you want to be, if you just want it bad enough. I'd like to show you that you can turn all those things you hate about yourself, into art.