6 April 2012

The best conversations are held at 4am, laying on the ground with no intention of getting up.

We drove for an hour on empty streets with no eyes in the rearview. Gas station coffee, cheap whiskey, smoking cigarettes through the window. You told me that you could never do this with anyone else, that this is wrong, irresponsible, not grown up behavior. You went quiet for a while, as if you were discussing with yourself, arguing, pros and cons. I kept my eyes on the moon, lit a cigarette and then you said ”but with you all this makes sense. With you everything that usually makes sense, doesn’t make sense at all anymore. And all this, that usually doesn’t make sense, suddenly does, you know?”. I’ve never felt so weightless.

We drove to the ocean and smoked cigarettes to 6 in the morning until I fell asleep on your chest.
When you woke up I was gone and you went back to your sense-making behavior and I keep having my best conversations while the world is asleep, trying to identify my own existence, or find the definition of being me, somewhere between dawn and the sunrise.

Charlotte x

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