June 21, 2012
But people just keep looking straight forward, walking in that same straight line, as if there’s no alternatives or choices anymore. They’re too dumb to understand that being determined and to follow your dream means so much more than blindly following a plan. They’re too dumb to even realize that they’re only spending their lives on that mission so that they don’t have to think too much about it. It’s easier that way. Find something you like, pursue it, spend every second of every day on it, and you will never have to question or feel again. And so they keep saying the same old empty words about inner fire, art and dreams as if it still means something. As if they still feel the adrenaline like they did in the beginning. But that’s bullshit. You don’t feel the adrenaline after doing the same thing a hundred times over. You have to go further each time to keep it exciting. Reach beyond the limit a little more every time. Your brain gets used to it and so eventually you will have to change the direction, the speed or the whole idea of it.
I once felt the urge to write, the magic and the adrenaline pumping all the way from my exciting little heart to every vein in my body as if I was on speed. Ecstasy. And I once talked like them do too, about inner fire, motivational speeches. Running the same old race day after day without asking why or where to. I almost fooled myself too. Thinking that blinding, numbing focus was the way to the stars. The road to the life I wanted. The life I want. Bullshit. The only way to exist in this labyrinth is to re-create yourself every single day. The only way to follow your dreams is to ask yourself every morning you wake up where your heart is today. Now, this very second; who do you want to be? No, not even who you want to be, but who you really are, today. If there was no road to your dream, just a choice between 6 different doors, which would you open. Here and now. But they just keep running. Dumb fuckers. Talking the same words they’ve never understood.
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